You Want Me to What?

The resident stopped next to the patient and flapped his arms. "All right, gather around, everyone." Everyone did as Dr. Masterson said and gathered around the patient's bed. "Can anyone tell me what we should do with Mr. Smith here?"

A student with a bow tie visible over his scrubs and the sharpest chin in the world bounced up and down in the back of the group, waving his hand in the air like a drunken giraffe. "I can!"

Dr. Masterson, disgruntled by the student's enthusiasm, rolled his eyes. "Anyone that is not determined to be called "the Doctor" before they've actually completed their training? Yes, Miss Jones." He pointed at the black student who had raised her hand. She proceeded with her explanation, which was thrown off a bit when she had some trouble finding Mr. Smith's heartbeat.

Meanwhile, the student with the bow tie scowled. "I could find his heartbeat easily, he's only got two of them," he muttered under his breath. He turned around and wandered off down the ward. He glanced back to see John Smith wink at the Jones girl.

"Doctor!" a voice called from a room to his right. He looked around, and seeing no residents in the vicinity, he entered the room, closing the door behind him.

"Yes, I'm the Doctor. Here to help." He stood next to the patient. "What seems to be the problem?"

The old man grimaced. "I'm terribly sorry about this, Doctor..." he paused.

"Just the Doctor, and don't worry, I never refuse a cry for help."

The man sighed. "I need someone to change out my bedpan...and then wipe me."

The Doctor's eyebrows disappeared under the curl of of his hair for a moment before he clapped his hands. "Oookay then, I'm...here to help." He swallowed down a bit of bile that had threatened to make him give the old man a sponge bath on top of the wiping. "Let's get you clean!"

He turned around and reached inside his pocket. Pressing a button that made a buzzing sound, he summoned his ship, at the same time making it invisible to both the old man and anyone that happened to walk by the room. He knew what was coming, and it would not do for space rhinos, plasmavores, or a fatal lack of oxygen due to being transported to the moon, to interfere with his current, and possibly most disgusting mission ever.

---

Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who, and credit for the setting goes to Russell T. Davies, who wrote the episode "Smith and Jones."

Thanks to Erin, Chris, Jennifer, Fay, Susan, Rebecca, Dale, Alicia, Jamica, Nayari, Natalie, Karen, James, Kaitlin, Jonathon, Thomas, and Laura for answering the question that was asked, with just a bit of reaching from Jonathon. Thanks for keeping me thinking.

The results of the poll are as follows:

Nine - 4

Ten - 1

Eleven - 6

Twelve - 5

I wonder if the results would have been different if I had revealed it was about Doctor Who. Several of you noticed, of course, but I wouldn't have minded a few more votes for my first Doctor.

On a related note, congratulations to Chris Chibnall, Jodie Whittaker, and the entire cast and crew for a fabulous start to the new season. #ShesmyDoctor

For next week, tell me what your favorite mythical story is. Is it Greek, Roman, Norse, Egyptian, or something less well known, like Aztecan or Indian? Let me know in the comments section below, and then scroll down to the bottom of the page to subscribe!