Not So Super

Wes opened the dryer door, pulled out the bed sheets, and slammed it shut. He turned around, looking for the basket, but someone else had taken it.

All around him was a cross-section of the human race, though it was only the section that went to laundromats. They were generally not Wes' favorite people, given that they were prone to take the basket you were using.

He sighed and set the sheets down on top of the nearest washing machine and started to separate them for folding.

He knew why his wife had sent him to do this when their machines had broken. Fitted sheets were the only thing she couldn't fold properly, but he managed it with barely a thought.

Looking around, he knew that nobody else should learn about this ability of his, otherwise he would be bombarded with requests to do everyone else's. It wasn't his fault that this was his gift. Still, it had to stay hidden.

It was as he was trying very hard to be sloppy in his folding that he heard the screams.

Not again, he thought, but he clutched the sheet he was holding and headed outside.

He had barely taken five steps when a foul stench engulfed him. His free hand automatically went to his nose, and his eyes started to water.

"Ugh," he managed to cough out. "What is that?"

Squinting through the tears, he scanned around, and saw a very familiar face doing something that should have been impossible.

The president was hovering along, inches above the ground, talking and gesticulating ad nauseam. It was from his direction that the smell was coming.

Thinking quickly, he rushed over to stand in the president's path. The president stopped moving, but looked directly at Wes, still talking and gesticulating. Wes knew he had only seconds before he would be overcome by the stench.

Taking the sheet in both hands, he flung his arms out to the side, and in a matter of moments, had a perfectly folded fitted sheet.

The president's jaw fell slack, and no more words came out. He dropped to the ground with a jolt. The smell stopped emanating instantly.

Wes breathed a sigh of relief, and went up to the president. "Would you like for me to show you how?" Without waiting for an answer, he took the president by the arm and led him to the laundromat, where he hoped people would be too distracted by the president to ask him to do their sheets too.

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I'll be honest, I'm not super happy with this one. The 'president' in this story could refer to any president, past or present. It could refer to the president of a company or a school board. The main idea is that nothing out of the mouths of any of them really smells that great, but it somehow gives them the ability to fly slightly above the rest of us.

Thanks to Adam, Chuck, Johnny, Chris, Becca, Mikel, Bobby, James, Renay, Travis, and Steve for their ideas on this week. Sorry it took a little longer to get out. But we'll call this the Sharknado of my posts.

For next week, in honor of Independence Day, let me know what your favorite thing about America is. Post your submissions in the comments section below, and feel free to subscribe.