Roulette

The blue fairy zipped around the table, making a light jingling sound whenever it settled down on a mundane object. For some reason, a text box appeared above the object, even if the fairy had already been there.

At the moment, Navi was bobbing up and down over a young girl wearing a red blouse, black skirt, and white stockings. The girl looked up at Navi, then looked around as though looking for her father.

Not seeing him anywhere, she screwed up her face, opened her mouth, and took a deep breath. "I want a blue fairy now!" she screeched. "I'll never forgive you if you don't buy me one. You're always making things difficult."

An older teenage boy with pale skin, amber eyes and permed hair stared at the text box above the girl, which read: "This bratty child gets what she deserves after singing a song about wanting a golden goose. She's a bad egg."

The teenage boy sniffed a little and stuck out his tongue in disgust. "She smells like chocolate and she shows too much emotion. I can't deal with that anymore."

For the first time, he looked down at the table in front of the group, and everyone else's eyes followed his. There were two revolvers there.

"I'll go first," said the boy. "Not that it will matter." He closed his eyes and reached out his hand, picking up the revolver on the left.

Navi, with a "Hey! Listen!" zipped over to hover above the one on the right. The boy ignored her and held the first revolver to his head. He took a breath and pulled the trigger.

There was a click. Edward frowned and set the revolver down. "Oh well," he said, and pushed back from the table. "Your turn," he said, glancing at the the woman next to him.

She scratched her head, her red hair extending only about an inch from her head. It was waving about, seeming to grasp at nothing. She glanced up and grunted. "Fine," she said after a moment, then picked the revolver on the right.

A click later, she set it back down. "At least I don't have to brush so much anymore," she grumbled. Crossing her arms over her chest, she pushed her chair back onto two legs, propping her feet on the edge of the table. "You're up, JJ."

All eyes now turned to the only silent member of the party. The eyes set on his head like stalks blinked, and his long ears flapped lightly behind him as he looked between all the others.

Navi was still floating above the same revolver. JJ swallowed, then reached for it.

"Meesa have a bad feeling about this," he said, and he closed his eyes.

BANG.

The dog in the corner pointed and laughed at JJ, who was now holding the empty revolver, still smoking from the barrel.

Edward pulled in a deep smell, and he shuddered as though experiencing euphoria. "People who can't kill themselves properly smell amazing," he said, and he reached out a hand.

JJ handed him the revolver, his ears drooping.

"Same time next week, guys?" said Edward, placing both revolvers in their place on the wall.

There was a murmuring of assent as everyone filed out of the room. JJ, as usual, hit his head on the way out.

Once the room was empty except for Edward, Ray regrew himself, breathing a sigh of relief. "That was a close one." He looked at the body next to him. "He didn't stretch out of the way in time."

Edward looked at Ralph's body, and his eyes went from amber to red. "I'll take care of him."

Ray left quickly after that, reminding himself to sit as far from Jar Jar Binks as he could next time.

---

This was mildly cathartic. I had to include Jar Jar for my own sick pleasure.

Thanks to Thomas, Kelsey, and Laura for contributing their pet peeves to this story.

For next week, name a fad from your childhood. Post your submissions in the comments below, and don't forget to subscribe!