Your Footsteps Are Forbidden

“The floor is lava!” Mr. Andrews spoke into the intercom microphone. He waggled his eyebrows at the secretary. "Chicka Chicka Boom Boom," he said, his hand off the button.

The principal’s voice called out over the cafeteria of Green Oaks Elementary School, and pandemonium erupted. Actually, that’s not quite true. Pandemonium is a bit more organized than what occurred with the second through fourth graders currently eating their lunch.

As one, they all rose up out of their round seats, attached to the tables, and hopped on them. Some overly ambitious children even got all the way up on the table. Plastic trays bearing peas and carrots, perfect scoops of mashed potatoes, and chicken nuggets went flying left and right. The eggs and ham that Marco McCain thought had been looking a bit green were thankfully flung into the air to land who knows where. (It actually landed by a small spiderweb. The spider, after eating it, thought it must have come from some pig.)

This, of course, prompted a food fight. The Travers twins, though both would deny it to their mother later, each took their spinach that they didn’t want to eat anyway and rammed it on to the other’s head. Josie Paige was crying within moments because a stray piece of square pizza had knocked her off her chair, sending her tumbling to the tiled lava one foot below. Marco, meanwhile, was being chased by the cafeteria monitor while screaming, "Run as fast as you can, but you can't catch me!"

There were some students that tried to be mature about the situation, and completely ignored the principal’s decree. They finished their food as stoically as was possible, (very difficult to do when you’ve had mashed potatoes stuffed down your pants), stood up, and walked to put their trays in the window where the dishwashers were waiting. This invited ridicule from some of the others (most of whom were standing on tables), and more food flung in their direction.

Eventually, the students had finally calmed down enough to line up with one hand behind their back, one finger on their lips, and walked meekly to their classrooms. Sam Travers licked a stray bit of spinach that fell down the front of his face, thinking that maybe it wasn't so bad after all. He thought he might even be lucky enough to grow strong like Popeye. His sister Shannon had wrapped her hair around a carrot, effectively sticking it out of the top of her head, making her look like a unicorn.

“What the hell were you thinking?” Mrs. Addison, the assistant principal, asked Mr. Andrews.

Mr. Andrews shrugged. “I never had a food fight as a kid. I wanted to see what it was like.”

Mrs. Addison shook her head, exasperated. “Well, go clean yourself up,” she said. “The parents that come in won’t take too kindly to you with carrots sticking out of your nostrils.”

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This one was mostly written in a speed writing exercise. I added the children's book references in later. How many can you spot?

Thanks to James Boski, Karen Parker Weems, Stephanie Doo, Jim Reader, Jonathon Marlin Brehm, Robert Gamboa, Chris Koenig, Shelly Botts Eager, Alicia Ballew, Cyndi Prachar, Terry Booth Fields, Lori Hefner Whitley, Travis Pollard, Gary Brock, Bobby Prachar, Theresa Ann Chavez, and Jamica Ray for allowing me insight into their personalities.

For next week, tell me: what is one thing that you wish didn't exist? Please make it a physical object or creature, not an idea (i.e. racism or hate). Post your submissions in the comments section below, and don't forget to subscribe!