Resolve

"We're in good form this season, aren't we, Bruiser?" said Patrick, patting his dog on the side. Bruiser's tongue lolled out of his mouth in response.

"Honey, can you bring me another beer?" Patrick called, purposefully ignoring his resolution to quit drinking more than five in one sitting. "No more resolutions," he muttered. "Pointless, anyway." He grabbed a handful of Cheetos out of the bag next to him and tossed a couple to Bruiser, who caught them out of the air, yawned, and laid down on the floor with his belly up.

"I ain't scratchin' you, ijit," said Patrick. "My hands are all cheesy. See?" He held up his hand to show the dog, then licked his fingers. "Where's that beer, woman?" he yelled.

Bruiser looked up at him and licked his chops. Patrick stared back. "Oh yeah," he said. "She went with Betsy to the salon. Those ladies play with their hair so damn much it's a wonder it don't fall out." He sighed and scratched his stomach, staining the blue striped track suit he was wearing Cheeto orange.

Looking back at the TV, he saw the running back fumble the football. "Oh come on!" he cried, chucking a Cheeto at the screen. Bruiser leaped up after it, gobbling it down in one. "Greedy pig," muttered Patrick. "Ohhh." He grunted, sitting up for the first time in a while. "Gotta drop some kids off at the pool."

He hauled himself out of the chair, considered the bag of Cheetos for a moment, then bent down to pick it up. "You'd be on it the second I walk out of the room," he said.

Bruiser cocked his head with a small whimper, then jumped forward, snatching the bag of Cheetos out of Patrick's hand.

Patrick made to snatch at the dog's collar, but he had already scampered out of the room. "Dadgumit!" said Patrick as he heard the telltale flap of the doggie door. "Get back here!"

Bruiser heard him, but didn't stop. He had the magic bag with the tasty treats, and the foolish human thought he was his best friend! Bruiser had other friends in this town that he longed to join, and now he finally could.

Yipping with glee, Bruiser leaped over a grate in the sidewalk. Unfortunately, this caused him to open his mouth, dropping the bag of Cheetos straight down, slipping in between the metal.

Bruiser didn't realize this, and kept running. The family of rats inside the grate were overjoyed at the feast that had fallen, apparently from heaven. They were stuffed full, their whiskers and faces turned completely orange, when Bruiser padded slowly back across the grate some time later, his tail between his legs.

He resolved to be happy with the few crumbs that Patrick tossed him from now on.

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Happy New Year, everyone! I hope you all enjoyed today's story! Thanks to Jeri Birdwell, John Spargo, Alicia Ballew, Cory Sales, and Chris Salazar for their input on the first post of the year.

For next week, something a little bit madder is in order. I need, in this order:

A household item

An adverb

A verb

An exclamation

A place

A verb ending in -ing

An adjective

An occupation

A silly word

An adjective

See you next week, and don't forget to subscribe!