A Hairy Situation

“Brace yourself, it’s pretty nasty in there.”

“Come on, how bad could it be?” I asked. “It’s not like I’m trying to clean the sewers.”

Lorelei pursed her lips. “Look, you know why I hired you, right?”

I grinned. “Cause I’m your best friend, and you’re just a wimp when it comes to cleaning your bathroom.”

She shook her head vigorously. “You haven’t seen it this time. It’s bad.”

I laughed and opened the door. “How bad could it poss-…oh sweet mama.”

“Have fun,” Lorelei said before shoving me in and shutting the door behind me. I heard the telltale sound of a chair being shoved against the door handle, effectively doing nothing because the door opened inward. I didn’t have time to tell her this, because the giant mass of hair in the tub was extending over and its wet tendrils were creeping around my ankle.

“Yeah, I haven’t cleaned out the hair in the drain in a while,” Lorelei called through the door. “I might have spilled some experimental shampoo down there, and I think it may have been radioactive!”

I grabbed the nearest thing to me – a toilet brush –and tried to beat the hair away from me. Another tendril reached up, snatched away the brush, and proceeded to scrub my head with it. Aside from being extremely grossed out by this, I still had hair wrapping itself more tightly around my ankle.

I looked desperately at the counter, and a pair of scissors caught my eye. “Time for a trim!” I yelled lamely, and I grabbed the scissors and hacked away at the hair that was currently cutting off circulation to my foot. I then managed to catch the brush that was still scrubbing my face, and cut off the tendril that was still holding it. I threw it out of reach (I hoped) and pulled off the hair still wrapped around my ankle.

Unfortunately, this seemed to make the monster angry, and more tendrils lashed out, grabbing each of my ankles and pulling forward, sending me crashing to the floor. Another tendril plucked the scissors out of my hand and started going to town on my hair.

Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted my last hope. Reaching up to the counter, I grabbed it, shook it quickly, and pressed down, aiming at the tendril that held the scissors.

Instantly, the tendril froze in place. I continued squeezing, and sprayed all the way down the tendril. It didn’t move anymore. I saw the central mass quiver, and I aimed the can of hair spray directly at it. “You need a perm,” I said, and I pressed down.

Nothing happened. I shook the can again and realized that I had used it up. I swallowed and looked at the hair blob. I could tell it knew it had won. I closed my eyes.

The door then burst open and Lorelei came in, wielding a can of hair spray in one hand and a lighter in the other. She lit the lighter and sprayed.

A shriek came from the mass of hair as it caught fire. I shrank back against the cabinet under the sink. I grabbed the scissors and cut my ankles free again, not wanting to be set aflame myself.

Two minutes later and it was over. The bathroom reeked of burnt hair and hair spray. Lorelei helped me up. “Thanks for the distraction,” she said. “I needed time to run next door to borrow the lighter.” She shoved the used lighter at me. “You mind taking this back over there when you’re done cleaning up? I’m gonna go get my hair done.” She flashed a smile and was gone.

I stared at the ruin around me. Sighing, I grabbed a broom and swept up the hair, grumbling that I wasn’t getting paid enough for this.

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First off, a very happy birthday to Harry Potter, and to JK Rowling, without whom I wouldn't be the writer and person that I am today. If you haven't read the books, do yourselves a favor and get on it, I promise you won't regret it.

Special thanks to Laura Egmon for this week's challenge, and letting me clean her bathroom for her. Your drain gave me the inspiration!

For next week, what would be a weird thing to find beautiful or attractive? As usual, post submissions in the comments section below by 9:00 pm CST on Thursday, August 3rd. Also let me know what you thought!